Written by Bruna

I figured I’d write about something that I’m not only very fond of, but refer to as one of society’s favorite pastimes. Masturbation. That one little word holds so much power. It’s like a little treasure chest of everything good you can feel- arousal, excitment, happiness, relief..who can beat that?

I remember way back when when masturbation talk was shunned. If you’re a girl who masturbated, you’re a slut. But then again, if you kissed a boy you were a slut too. Damned me in every way possible. Masturbating was a very new experience, I wasn’t sure if it was me going to the dark side, or finally finding heaven on earth. It was taboo and private. But geez, it was nice.

Obviously now being older, I have come to see that masturbation is very common and talked about by many. I had a whole class on it, and let me tell you- first class I paid 100% attention to. Now, don’t get me wrong. I have sex, and there is nothing wrong with the sex I have, but masturbation is like guaranteed satisfaction. You can do it on your own time schedule, you know exactly what spots to hit, you don’t have to get aggravated if you don’t cum- because it WILL happen.

I’m a very stressful person. I take on a lot of responsibility that sometimes I feel like slappin myself in the face. Instead, I rub one out. I do a little DJ session. Then, all the stress is gone. Like magic! Fuck all those pills and medical mumbo jumbo to make you happy, you have the answer right at your fingertips! LITERALLY!

I came across a website (http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation.htm) all about everything you want to know about masturbation. After looking over the site, I read the “Masturbation Myths” and thought to myself “Wow, you’ve gotta be fuckin kidding me”, but since I’m a genuinely nice person who believes in educating others, I will share these with you in hopes of enlightening your thoughts of masturbation and debunking ridculous shit that people think will happen (I’m not judging you if you thought some of these were true).

Masturbation is not “real sex” and only losers masturbate.

Technically, okay, masturbation is not REAL sex. There is no penis/vagina action, the use of protection, or a chance of getting pregnant. The outcome can actually be better than sex! and fuck you, I’m not a loser. I masturbate regularly- as part of my healthy diet. Studies show that people who masturbate perform better sexually, so HA!

If you masturbate you will go blind, bald, grow hair on your hands, and/or get acne.

Seriously? Wtf is this? You’re fucking MASTURBATING. You’ll take a shitload of pills and other “hormones” but you won’t take your hand down south for some one on one go time? Silly. If you’re blind, bald, acne prone and have hairy hands- you’re just unlucky, its not because you masturbate.

Married couples or people in relationships don’t masturbate.

Wrong again. Actually, at times I prefer to do mutual masturbation. It’s fun, you please and get pleased, and you have a cuddle buddy after- if that’s your thing. Make a friend! Ask to mutual masturbate.

There are more myths on the site, along with facts, history, and whatever else you would want to know about masturbation, but those ones appealed to me the most.

So all in all, I think we can conclude that the key to happiness is, in most events, masturbation. That’s why I’m happy. Its a stress reliever, a lullaby, a boredom killer. It can function for many different purposes- SATISFACTION GUARANTEED.

If I could walk around with a board saying “Masturbate for happiness!” with a nice little cow bell, I would. But I can’t, because I have a reputation to uphold, so I’ll say this: Go masturbate. Indulge in the sensations and feelings that come during and after.

You just found the key to happiness.

Posted by Bruna

People are so intriguing to observe. They tend to switch up on you sporadically at any given moment. I have come to find that as a person, you choose what you wish to see or not see. We blind ourselves from noticing what we wish to not accept or understand. This is most evident when you are in love with another. This can be identified as a romantic relationship or merely friendship, but for the sake of argument I will exemplify the idea with a boyfriend or girlfriend. When in love with a significant other, you tend to stress the positive qualities they carry, overlooking the negative. You may acknowledge the not-so-great characteristics they possess; however, there always seems to be an excuse towards it or an act of ignorance. Who could blame you? This is your special someone. Not only that, but this person signifies you as well. You associate with them, not only as a friend that keeps good company, but a love interest. This holds importance in a deeper level. Therefore, the personality and overall being of this person reflects back on you. So, why wouldn’t you want to emphasize their positive traits? After all, they are considered yours as well. The dramatic change in events begins when the relationship dissolves. Some turn of interest takes place to result in dissolution of engagement with each other. The road can take one of two paths. You either end in a horrible manner to where your name and a curse word appear in every sentence visible or to a point where forgiveness and plea is a common asked courtesy. What most people don’t understand is there is a middle ground; one that is not often taken because it is quite the difficult route- Total seclusion. Usually after a break up, at least one partner of the couple takes an interest to being friends, regardless of how things ended up. That’s where you stop and reverse. Although I’m sure there are exceptions to this idea, friendship between former lovers immediately following a break up is not healthy. Both need space, time to breathe, and most of all time to find themselves and who they are. A common saying “love is blind” begins to take some truth. Love can be blind. It can blind you from reality. You usually ratify a lover’s questionable behavior in sake of saving what you feel is most valuable- the relationship. But as time goes on and you continue on your separate path, you begin to realize that love is not blind- you are. You saw the signs. You saw what was happening in front of your face but chose to not acknowledge it. So instead, we might be able to sympathize with Rabbi Julius Gordon when he states, “Love is not blind – it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.” This “blurb”, as I’ll call it is nothing of great importance. Just some thoughts on paper while I’m in my lab class. I do wish to compose a book someday relating to similar issues. For now, these are my incomplete thoughts- snippets of my theology concerning the matter of love and insight, ignorance, and isolation.

Posted by Bruna

Here I am…sitting in an empty classroom waiting for class to start. But as I’m drinking my Arizona Green Tea and eating raw almonds from the snack shack, I can’t help but contemplate an issue that was discussed in my Sociology class earlier today- “Can men and women be just friends?” Its an interesting and often debated topic. The article that was being presented pointed out some key standpoints on the issue, one being that there must be no attraction towards the other member of the friendship. Okay, well that’s a 50/50 chance. Classmates differed in thoughts, and as I sat there and listened, I came to a conclusion. It all depends on the level of friendship. I, and probably most of you, have numerous friends of the opposite gender. Mostly acquaintances, a couple that I actually talk to. But to get the actual answer to the question of friendship between different sexes, I look at it as a deep friendship. A best friend even, someone who knows you in and out. Someone you wouldn’t hesitate to open up to. Now, with that kind of relationship, let’s explore the subject. The article stated that men and women benefit from having a friendship with the opposite sex. Women can be more open and joke more often when conversing with a male because they are less sensitive than their female counterparts. Men are able to talk more freely about their emotions, which was said to be less evident in an all male friendship. The problem that arises is sexual tension- which then leads to jealousy. Call me ancient or old fashioned, but i feel- given these circumstances- a woman and man cannot be just friends. An intimate, emotional, all-out strictly platonic friendship between different sexes just doesn’t seem realistic. My reasoning for this is because it is difficult, and sometimes impossible to not have, or gain with time, feelings of attraction one way or another towards the other person. Keep in mind, even if one of the two feels this attraction, the theory of women and men being friends is demolished. The article stated that women go into a friendship with males first off to contain security and comfort, while a man’s initial ideal from a friendship with a woman is sex. With that in mind, how can someone truly say such a friendship is able to happen? The attraction will be there. Even if there is no physical attraction, there could be emotional attraction. Opening yourself up to someone brings a type of intimacy to a friendship that even some romantic relationships are not able to obtain. Ever heard of falling for your best friend? Now, why is that? Because they understand you? Because they know everything there is about you and still accepts you regardless of your flaws? These are a few factors that could lead a two-sex friendship from one of guidance to one of romance. And even if you yourself see the relationship as just a friendship, the public might see it differently. And that, believe it or not, could change your own perspective on the relationship to a point where you might be convincing yourself that, “Yes, there is a connection…maybe this CAN go further.” So you attempt to take this friendship to the next level. Now say you get shut down because the other person is not willing. Can the friendship ever remain the same? Can one be certain that jealousy will not arise if a romantic figure steps into the other person’s life? Sex, love, and jealousy- three commonly used words that can stir up a lot of havoc, even to those reading this and disagreeing with my argument because “this isn’t geared towards them”…whose to say you’re exempt from experiencing this? You may choose to create a substantial friendship with the opposite sex without a thought of sexual or romantic desires, but the other person could feel differently. So with this in mind, this “absolutely no attraction yet intimate and emotional friendship in which sex and romance is obviously not an option with the opposite gender”, you tell me: Can men and women really be JUST friends?